


Facing Change

by psykedelic



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 20:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16878786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psykedelic/pseuds/psykedelic
Summary: Maybe he wasn't so different after all.





	Facing Change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mymastermine (littlelapin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelapin/gifts).



Mastermind stared absently at the half-empty wine glass, stirring the drink slowly. He was sitting on it, much like he was with his troubled mind. The researcher sighed, an aggravated noise as he ran a frustrated hand through his long bangs. This was grating on his last nerves, and yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“You look good in my jacket.”

Mastermind ignored the smugness in Psyker’s voice, more interested in his drink. Though, he had to admit Psyker’s new jacket was pretty damn comfy – not that he’d ever say it out loud. (Mastermind was suspicious that Psyker had already come to this conclusion by the amount of times he’s stolen and/or wore the bloody thing, but perish the thought).

“You know, you could always just ask whenever you want to use it, instead of making me look around the damn house for it.”

Mastermind would do no such thing.

“S’nice, right?”

… Mastermind knew what he was trying to do. He tried harder to pretend Psyker wasn’t in the room, eyebrows narrowed as he glared at his wine. How dare it be half-empty.

“It’s not half-empty. Stop being so pessimistic.”

How dare he know what Mastermind is thinking, as well.

“So _noisy_ …” Mastermind finally gave in, tipping his head back with an over exaggerated sigh. He caught sight of Psyker at the entrance of his lab, leaning ever so casually against the door with his arms crossed. Psyker’s shit eating grin stretched wider, if possible, as their eyes met, and Mastermind is reminded once again of how he loved and hated that grin. Psyker knew something was up, his cocky ass could smell Mastermind’s troubling mind a mile away.

“You don’t resort to drinking unless it’s pretty bad.”

Mastermind scoffed at him, seemingly offended, “Am I not allowed to enjoy wine at my own leisure?” The question sounded too defensive even to his own ears. Psyker quirked an eyebrow at him, the grin dying down to an easygoing smile, one that Mastermind also loved as much as he hated.

How dare Psyker read him so easily.

Scowling at his own mistake, Mastermind turned away, downing the rest of his glass – anything to not have to form a reply. He knew – Mastermind simply _knew_ Psyker would break him.

“May I come in?” Psyker asked easily, a playful chuckle leaving his lips. Mastermind blamed the alcohol for the way the sound made his heart leap, said it was the alcohol that dusted his cheeks red. Psyker didn’t have an ounce of control over him, not one bit.

“If you insist.” Mastermind waved his hand, trying to appear as nonchalant as the berserker. Another deep rumble in his throat, the sound vibrating in the silent room. Mastermind tried harder to fight his blush away, reaching for the bottle beside him as Psyker’s footsteps echoed off the walls.

Any sort of distraction would do, so long as Mastermind wouldn’t have to look at him.

The researcher’s plot was foiled when he caught sight of black and purple right next to his bottle. Psyker leaned against the desk, arms trapping Mastermind between them, as he rested his chin on his shoulder. Mastermind inhaled sharply, taken by surprise at the sudden close quarters.

"Do you always have to be so stubborn?" Psyker asked, his head turning so he was right beside his ear, his voice low and teasing. The laugh that followed didn't help Mastermind's heart rate in the slightest.

"Do you always have to be such a nuisance?" Mastermind retorted, the venom in his voice mostly for show. It wasn't due to his stubborn pride; Mastermind simply refused to give in to Psyker's influence. (There was no way a brute like Psyker could be charming, not at all).

"Only when you refuse to communicate."

"I am doing no such thing."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are _not_."

The replies were automatic, Mastermind easily slipping into the game Psyker was playing. He would win, simple as that. And for the moment, he had. The pause that followed lasted a heartbeat, long enough for Psyker's fingers to dance down his arm.

They followed along to his wrist, wrapping around Mastermind's own fingers grasping the neck of the wine bottle. Wherever Psyker touched felt like fire, the heat reaching his cheeks before Mastermind could even register he was blushing. Psyker reached over with his other hand, clasping both around Mastermind's grip, pressing closer to him from behind.

Mastermind refused to breath, to move, too engrossed by Psyker's antics, by his touch, by his presence. He didn't have to look at the berserker to know he was smirking, could feel it against his skin as Psyker pressed his lips against it, right behind his ear. A shudder ran down his spine, Mastermind exhaling a shaky gasp he hoped was simply that, and nothing more.

"Are too." Psyker laughed against his ear, pulling away from him. Mastermind bit back the whine that almost escaped him, the noise sounding just barely in his throat. It took him a moment to wonder what it was Psyker was referring to, watching with a hazy mind as the berserker poured him another glass. "How many have you had?"

"... A few."

Another laugh. Must be so, since Mastermind didn't snap back a retort to what he said. Looks like this round went to Psyker.

"How many is _a few_?" Psyker brought the bottle to his lips, taking a sip himself. He hated wine, Mastermind knew this, and Mastermind hated when he did barbaric things such as this, drinking directly from the bottle. Yet, he couldn't find it in himself to scold him.

"I'm... not too sure," Mastermind mumbled honestly, eyes drifting absently once again to his drink. It must be the alcohol, because at that moment, Mastermind felt vulnerable.

"That's fine," Psyker easily reassured him, setting the bottle back down. Mastermind nearly melted as Psyker’s hands pressed against his shoulders, thumbs rolling against him, apply just the right amount of pressure to help Mastermind relax. Mastermind hummed a noise of approval, head tilting back as his eyes rolled closed.

It brought a smile to him, seeing Mastermind so content. He rolled his thumbs against Mastermind’s shoulders, pressing down where he knew he needed to, and Mastermind sighed once again, low and quiet. Psyker waited a moment, before leaning closer, his hands sliding down Mastermind’s lithe frame to rest at his hips, his head meeting Mastermind’s.

He almost hated the ruin the moment, but he couldn’t help the question from forming, “Something on your mind?”

Mastermind did his best to resist, to not melt into Psyker’s hold, but with the trail of soft kisses pressed from his temple to his cheek, the way Psyker rested his cheek against Mastermind’s own, the researcher knew it was in vain. He debated telling the berserker, pursing his lips as he pondered what was on his mind as well. Psyker was patient, waiting for Mastermind to collect his thoughts before speaking.

"... It's nothing." Mastermind decided, turning away from Psyker in favor of sipping his wine.

"Mm... Pretty sure you breaking out your special, favorite wine is "nothing"."

Mastermind was conflicted, unsure of whether to tell Psyker or not. Hell, he was sure Psyker already knew. Mastermind's eyes trailed down, feeling burdened by the heavy thoughts on his mind. Conflicted for more than one reason, it would seem.

He caught sight of Psyker's arms, reaching down to trail his fingers lightly over the black markings. Psyker shifted slightly, curious to what it was Mastermind was doing. The berserker rested his chin on Mastermind's shoulder, the long bangs he now had brushing against the researcher's cheek. Mastermind turned to look over his shoulder at him, eyes catching sight of that ugly scar Psyker now brandished openly.

Mastermind hated seeing it. He hated the reminder of those days, hated how he bared the same damn mark, hated how Psyker now showed it off as if it were some trophy or achievement, some damn accomplishment - most likely attributed to his brute mentality. Mastermind's eyes narrowed with anger, feeling disgusted at the mere sight of it.

Such an unsightly nuisance... Why would he reveal such a thing to the world? Mastermind felt something akin to betrayal - after all, Mastermind shared the same base concept as him.

"If looks could kill." Psyker pulled away then, and Mastermind couldn't find it in himself to care. The scowl on his face deepened, turning his back to Psyker as he downed the nearly full wine glass.

"I hate that scar."

"As do I." How could he say that? If he hated it so much, why did he insist on seeing it every day - insist on showing them all that same damn scar they all wore? No one wanted to see it, not a single damn one of them needed the reminder of what that scar represented. "You're overthinking it."

"Don't tell me that I'm overthinking it!" Mastermind snapped, slamming his glass down so hard he wondered how it didn't shatter.  

Mastermind jumped to his feet, whirling around fiercely to face Psyker, glaring and teeth bared. Psyker quickly backed away, the distance between the two growing as he held his hands up in mock surrender. He was eerily quiet, so unlike his old self that would meet Mastermind's challenge head on, who would have stepped forward to fight back, shoulders squared, teeth gritted together, and fists balled at his side.  

This Psyker was placid, so much so Mastermind's confidence wavered; he couldn't read this Psyker. He seemed so calm, not a hint of that usual aggressiveness in his eyes, shoulders relaxed as he shrugged his hands into his pockets. He easily met Mastermind's eyes, and he looked completely in control of his usual explosive temper - Mastermind found it hard to maintain that eye contact.

It was unnerving, how different he was.

"What do you want me to say then?" Even his voice was mellow in comparison to how it was before. Psyker somehow managed to sound coaxing without the condescending, as if Mastermind wasn't being childish and petty -- which they both knew he _was_.

It was irritating, how Psyker could pretend he wasn't in the wrong, how he could be so patronizing without ever trying anymore. How can he be so calm? How can he be so selfish, showing off that blasted mark as if it amounted to nothing? As if the pain and torment, the torture and hurt they all experienced, was something to be proud of?!

"How can you be so foolish? I've always wondered why, and _how_ , you can do the _preposterous antics_ you do without giving a single care in the world how it might affect someone else! You're too smart to be so _stupid_!"

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Psyker chided him evenly, arching an eyebrow at him. Mastermind bristled at the comment, half a second away from throwing the wine glass at him. Psyker quickly stopped him, an arm raised as if to fend off the oncoming attack. "Hey, gimme a chance to explain --"

"I don't want to hear it! I _hate_ that mark --"

"Listen, dammit!" The forcefulness behind Psyker's words, the demand in his tone, didn't match the look in his eyes. Mastermind's breath caught in his throat, his anger somehow ebbing away with the silent plea Psyker's eyes were begging of him - for him to listen and actually hear his words.

Mastermind paused for that moment, whatever snappy reply he had dying on his lips. He knew he was being unreasonable in that moment, no matter how brief it was, how abrupt his anger seemed, Psyker's words somehow always managed to reach him. With a deep, unsettling sigh, Mastermind forced his shoulders to relax, giving a curt nod for Psyker to continue.

At his reluctant compliance, Psyker breathed his own sigh of relief. He brushed a finger through his hair, his expression anxious and troubled, his eyes guilty as he could hardly maintain contact with Mastermind.

He inhaled deeply, a means to help steel his nerves, before speaking, "I hate the scar, too." Psyker started slowly, looking off to the side. "But even more, I hated how constricting it is. It's like that damn lock is still there, around my neck, suffocating me and chaining me down - to that damn place, to the past -- I hate that more than I do this damn scar."

Mastermind's fingers twitched, the sudden urge to touch his own neck making itself known. He understood what Psyker meant, It was hard to admit, something no matter how much time passed, will ever be easy to reflect on.

After all, Mastermind also felt hindered greatly by the past. The many scenarios that clouded his mind, the uncertainties, the _what ifs_ this or _if only_ that --

"I didn't want to run away from it anymore." Mastermind hadn’t realized he had looked away from Psyker until said berserker spoke again. Mastermind raised his gaze, taking in the determination showing in Psyker’s eyes, a look Mastermind had seen many times they went into battle. "I'm tired of running away, of feeling stuck in the past, of being so _weak_. So, I decided to stop running. I'll fight it head on, and beat it ten times over then what it did to me."  

It was silent after Psyker's declaration. Mastermind found himself at a loss of words, something akin to adoration; though that was greatly outweigh by his own stubbornness. As if he would say it out loud, how much Psyker's confidence was admirable and inspiring.

"... This is why I dislike the boorish types." Despite the harsh words, there was no bite to them. Mastermind's shoulders slacked as he sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. "As usual, I don't understand your way of thinking at all."

Mastermind would be damned before he ever admit such embarrassing thoughts out loud.

"That's fine," Psyker scoffed, rolling his eyes as he hunched his shoulders, a tidbit he seemed to pick up from Psyche (or was it the other way around?). It even came with its own childish pout, looking a lot like the Lunatic Psyker Mastermind was so used to. The new Psyker was _odd_ , even more so then his old self, less bratty, but definitely louder.

It was a change Mastermind knew he would have to adjust to, and yet didn’t _want_ to --

" 'S'not like I understand your damn AI any better."

... And yet, no matter how much Psyker seemed to change, he was still the same insufferable manchild Mastermind knew him to be.

"Apocalypse is not simply an _AI_ , you brutish tool."

"Oh, spare me one of your lectures, you old coot."

Mastermind scowled again, brushing his hair back over his shoulder as he scoffed at him, "We can't all sacrifice our brain cells for sheer brawn."

"Go suck a coffee machine, you Rash Buggy Trock."

Mastermind's eyebrow twitched, a very angry, very strained smile somehow slipping across his features, "Trock, am I...?"

"Are you seriously more offended by that comment than me telling you to give a coffee machine head?"

"Those blasted Trocks were the bane of my existence in those Sander runs, and you know it!" Mastermind seethed at him, nose wrinkled in disgust as the mere memory of it. Though, as an after thought, he added, "Besides, something that doesn't change is your _ridiculous_ stamina and endurance. Unfortunately, your libido is insatiable."

"You say that now," Psyker snorted, rolling his eyes to the back of his head, tilting his head back in exaggeration, "yet I don't hear one single complaint from you later. You're pretty damn compliant --"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, you perverted manchild!" Mastermind quickly lashed out, cutting him off as his face turned beat red. He gritted his teeth, trying to keep his embarrassment at bay, as he snapped, "Have you any brain cells left in that empty head of yours, you beast!"

"... You're unbelievable." The sheer incredulous made Psyker laugh out loud. Once again, whatever argument Mastermind had died on his lips at the sound. The way Psyker's grin would split wide across his face, the corners reaching up to his eyes, the open expression Psyker hardly ever showed. That laugh, no matter how ridiculous its timing was, lifted Mastermind's spirits almost instantly. The researcher found himself smiling in return, a quiet laugh sounding somewhere in the back of his throat, as he lifted a hand to hide it.

"You're the ridiculous one here," Mastermind teased him, the playfulness evident in his gentle tone. It was easy, for them to always fall back into these silly banters - it was so _them_ , something not even time could take away.

Psyker instantly perked at it, his laughter dying down, but his grin increasing in its stead, "You're the genius; what you say must be true."

"All in the name of science." Mastermind couldn't keep the laughter from his voice, feeling it bubbling somewhere in his chest, bringing with it the warmth Psyker always seemed to breath into him. Psyker echoed the noise, yet this time, it was different - so much so, Mastermind couldn't help looking over at him.

He recognized that look anywhere, the light feeling in his chest suddenly growing. The sensation set his body aglow, spreading too quickly for Mastermind to keep it. He felt it in his stomach, the way it would do twists and flips, to his heart that insisted on beating so loudly, to even his ears as the blush he tried to hide grew, similar to how his smile was at that moment.

Psyker's smile mirrored his own, the berserker crossing to him in two long strides, standing quite literally in arms reach, definitely shorter then that, but also unquestionably not close enough. Mastermind was patient though, waiting to see what Psyker was thinking, what he would do. Psyker was still, standing close to Mastermind, staring down at him as if he were seeing through him. The anticipation for what was to come made the scientist weak at the knees, his eyes unable to look anywhere but into Psyker’s.

“You really do look so good in my jacket…” Psyker’s voice was barely a whisper, his words echoing off the silent walls. The berserker reached out, fingers reaching to grasp the soft white material – and suddenly, both his hands were gripping the jacket, forcefully pulling Mastermind closer to him.

Hot – Psyker’s temperature was always higher than Mastermind’s seemingly cold one. It spread through him like fire, setting his blood ablaze as he inhaled sharply, shuddering at the contrast despite feeling warm already. It was different than earlier, the sensual touches and gentle features turning into a knowing look, the grin spreading across his face could only be described as commanding, demanding complete control over him.

Confidence; Psyker was filled to the brim with it, every fiber in his being radiated it to an almost arrogant level. Scratch that, Psyker _was_ arrogance: the ultimate embodiment of destruction that ignored the laws of physics. It was that confidence, that arrogance, that dominating aspect, that pushed Psyker to overcome human limitations.

Mastermind’s fingers reached out, needing to take a hold of anything to help gather his bearings – his fingers found one of Psyker’s belts, the loose one he wore around his hips for his own aesthetic pleasure. The researcher gripped it tightly, unable to bring himself to do anything else.

Psyker tilted his head to the side, quirking an almost suggestive brow at him as he waited for Mastermind to do something. Though, judging by that crooked smirk of his, Psyker had already decided for them. Mastermind wanted to scowl, wanted to deny him what he wanted, wanted to completely ignore Psyker’s influence –

He needed to look away, needed to break that influence before Psyker completely dominated him. Mastermind forced his eyes away, ignoring the irregularity of his heart beat, how the blood rushed to his head, how it seemed to haze over his already cloudy mind. His bottom lip rolled in between his teeth, gnawing it in anticipation.

Mastermind’s knuckles were turning white from how tightly he was gripping Psyker’s belt, from how desperate he was to stay in control – he couldn’t help himself though, they both knew it. The researcher’s grip slackened, sliding over the rough leather of Psyker’s other belt, brushing the cold metal of its buckle. Psyker stood motionless before him, but Mastermind could feel his intense gaze burning in his mind.

Mastermind couldn’t help his fingers from exploring, wanting to touch every inch of Psyker, to memorize it anew to his memory. Psyker exhaled deeply, the muscles in his stomach contrasting slightly, instantly catching Mastermind’s attention. With the skin-tight shirt Psyker wore, it was almost too clear, too easy to see the hard muscles of his lower abdominal. Mastermind chewed on his bottom lip, the slight uncomfortable throb of it enough to help keep his mind clear, as he traced the prominent dip of Psyker’s pelvic.

“Mastermind…” The way Psyker breathed his name heavily, how he inhaled sharply as Mastermind’s fingers slowly mapped out his lower body, how he could feel Mastermind’s nails lightly through his shirt as he curled his fingers into the material – Psyker was having a hard time holding back.

Mastermind needed to stop – he knew he had to –

He rested his hands flat against Psyker’s stomach, up, up, and up until one fell over Psyker’s heart – beating as strongly as his own behind his rib cage. Mastermind’s other hand brushed through Psyker’s soft hair, nails scraping his scalp, gripping a fistful as he lifted his gaze to meet Psyker’s scorching hot one.

“Psyker.” Mastermind’s voice was akin to Psyker’s, albeit less clouded and more firm. Feeling bold and oddly encouraged, Mastermind stepped closer, pressing his body firm against Psyker’s, as his fingers found purchase in Psyker’s hair. Psyker watched him with heavy, hungry eyes, waiting for Mastermind’s command.

It was ironic, how Mastermind could be the one in control when Psyker easily overpower him.

It fueled Mastermind’s own influence, chasing that superiority, the power he had over a powerhouse like Psyker.

There’s more than one way to win a war, so the saying goes. He thought Psyker was the one in control, but in the end, Mastermind was the dominator.

That power felt so right, so natural in his hands – Mastermind couldn’t help the almost condescending smirk that crossed his features, gripping Psyker’s hair tighter and pulling it back, loving how Psyker would bend to his will, an almost inaudible sound leaving his lips at the sudden roughness. A haughty laugh escaped Mastermind, leaning closer to press his lips to Psyker’s jawline. Psyker’s hands fell to Mastermind’s hips, fingers gripping as he pulled Mastermind even closer, a silent plea in his eyes as he met Mastermind’s gaze.

But just as quickly as the fire came, it quelled. Mastermind’s grip on Psyker slackened, the sudden rush leaving him and Mastermind was left wondering what it was. That power, that edge, he hadn’t felt it in a while –

Psyker watched Mastermind with calculating eyes, taking his troubled expression, the confusion, yet excitement, in his eyes. He knew that look, recognized it instantly – after all, the same realization had hit him so long ago, so sudden and strong it felt like only yesterday. His grip on Mastermind loosened, not as tight yet still firmly secured at his hips, as he waited for Mastermind.

Waiting, waiting, waiting – waiting for him to see the potential he still had, to realize this was only the beginning. Judging by the look on Mastermind’s face, he was slowly starting to see it himself, coming to comprehend it with his own hands. It was there, right at his fingertips, so close, much closer then he thought it was.

Mastermind breathed out the tension in his shoulders, slowly coming out of stupor. The events of the day suddenly bared its weight down on him, and he found himself once again feeling exhausted. “It’s Arc…” The researcher mumbled, so soft, so faint, Psyker almost didn’t catch it. Mastermind sighed, stepping away from Psyker to lean against the table beside them. “He’s… being troublesome.”

“… That’s not a nice way of putting it.” As quickly as the heated moment came, it left. Psyker wanted to be upset about it, wanted to press the researcher for more, but couldn't bring himself to. After all, he came looking for Mastermind to see why he was being distant, with no ulterior motives. Psyker knew what it was Mastermind was thinking, because he was the same; he wasn’t sure how to approach the subject, with it being a touchy and sensitive topic for the researcher, but Pskyer knew they would eventually breach it.

“How _else_ am I supposed to phrase it?” Mastermind grumbled, too consumed with fatigue to be bothered with anything. He pulled away from Psyker's grasp, leaning heavily against his work desk. He knew drinking was a bad idea. “Psyche told me some farfetched story about Arc.”

Psyker raised an eyebrow, his lips forming a thin line. He also knew Mastermind was oblivious to Arc’s feelings, to an absurd level. “It’s not as farfetched as you think.”

“How would you know?” Mastermind shot him a glare with no real ill-intentions, “I don’t understand how Arc can be so worried over something so... _inconsequential_.”

“And that right there is why he’s so “troublesome”.” Psyker rolled his eyes, “Or rather, why _you_ are so troublesome.”

“I am _not_ troublesome.”

“Says the one who barricades himself in his lab when he’s on a brink of some great new discovery.” Mastermind opened his mouth to retort, but Psyker didn’t give him the chance, “The one who gets so moody if his research goes interrupted during those moments.”

“I am not that bad –“

“Anymore.”

Now Mastermind’s glare held true as he scowled. “And what do you suggest I do?”

“Have you maybe, oh, I don’t know, considered Arc’s point of view, instead of assuming your own is correct?” Psyker rolled his eyes, reaching for Mastermind’s wine bottle.

“I beg your pardon,” Mastermind seethed, snatching the bottle away, “But I have done so already, asshole.”

“Did you really? Or did you form some bullshit "scientific theory"?”

“You know what? No matter how much you change, you’re still an asshole.”

“Who the hell said I _changed_?”

“Well, _look at you_!” Mastermind gestured to all of Psyker, pointing an accusing finger at his chest, “You _have_ changed, dammit!”

Psyker actually looked stumped at that. The berserker’s head tilted down towards Mastermind’s finger, eyes drifting across his different attire, glancing over at the markings that decorated his arms now. “... Have I really, though?” Psyker mumbled, bringing a hand to brush his bangs back.

Despite the ridiculous amount of hair he now had, at that moment, with his expression fully exposed and the stupidly honest look in his eyes, Mastermind fooled himself into thinking he was still _Lunatic Psyker,_ and _not Doom Bringer_ , “I mean… I’m still _me_ , y’know?”

That much held true. Psyker had unlocked infinite amount of power, the same power he had been chasing after for as long as Mastermind knew him – and yet, Psyker was still Psyker.

He was still the same muscle-headed brutish, overgrown child that would rather think with his fists then with his head. He still held true to his usual antics, and still caused the same amount of troubles as he did before.

Yet, Psyker was also _different_. His temper was in check, his boorish urges to _fight_ was only seen during dungeons, and at moments like this, when it was only Mastermind and Psyker present? No matter what Mastermind did, argue, complain, _anything_ , Psyker was _patient_ , calm, quiet, was in _control_ , something Psyker hardly had before. Lunatic Psyker wasn’t one to show empathy, and yet at that moment, that was all he held. Lunatic Psyker may have been Doom Bringer now, but that was it: it was nothing but a title.

It was commendable, something Mastermind was slowly coming to realize he admired – and the thought made him smile. “I suppose… you are correct.” Mastermind’s shoulders slumped. It felt as if he were being left behind, standing in Psyker’s shadow as the other continued to grow on his own.

To think, he was already so far ahead, when Mastermind assumed he had been the one above them all…

Psyker’s hand fell from his bangs, letting them fall over his face once again, before tilting his head to the side, “Arc holds you to a very high degree, y’know. He admires you, strives to be someone like you –“ Mastermind couldn’t help the scoff that left him, shaking his head as he tipped the wine bottle, “— and _you_ have had enough, dammit.”

Psyker took the bottle away, setting it back down on the table. Mastermind stared off to the side, a look of defiance crossing his features. The berserker sighed, “You said I’ve changed, right?” Mastermind shot him a look, one questioning where he was going with this. His fatigue was reaching a new level, and all Mastermind wanted at that moment was to be left alone. “I did it for Psyche.”

Mastermind had not been expecting that in the slightest, so much so all he could manage was a very confused, straightforward, “… _Huh_?”

“I transfused my armor into my body, Mastermind,” Psyker’s expression was one that could only be summed up as suffering and pain, as if he also was bearing a heavy burden on his shoulders, “You think that was easy? The chances of survival were slim to none; a devil’s gamble. Why the hell would even someone like me risk everything against those odds?”

An insult was there at the tip of his tongue, but Mastermind couldn’t find it in himself to say it out loud. They both knew what Psyker did was stupid, how he did it alone, too, without so much as a word to any of them. One day he was there, the next, he was gone – Psyker had left nothing behind that day, as if he simply vanished into thin air.

Mastermind still held some resentment towards him, how it left a bitter taste on his tongue, how angry he still was at the thought of Psyker leaving them all behind – leaving _Mastermind_ alone to deal with the thought of not being able to see him.

“I thought you were dead.” Mastermind’s tone was even, neither here nor there. The wound was still fresh, the fear and anguish he had felt, the turmoil he put himself through, sick to his core with worry, and even grief.

“I nearly was.”

And how Psyker could say that so easily, could tell Mastermind something so serious in such a distant voice, as if it didn’t concern him. Mastermind bristled, his fingers clenching as his nails dug into his palm. His glare was vicious, and he uttered the question he never had the courage to ask when Psyker finally came back, “Why?”

_Why did you do it? Why did you leave? Why would you risk your life? Why, why, why?!_

Psyker was silent, his expression troubled as he considered the question. Mastermind was ready to kick him out of his lab when he finally answered, “Aside from it being what I’ve been looking for all this time, I also came to realize something…”

“And what, pray tell, was this _something_?”

Mastermind was surprised by the smile that crossed Psyker’s features. The look was so open, so honest, so free, that Mastermind took a metaphoric step back. “They’re amazing, aren’t they?” Psyker stepped forward, turning to lean against the table beside Mastermind, “Those Tracers?”

Mastermind’s eyebrows knitted together, wondering what it was Psyker was trying to get at.

“Psyche’s enthusiasm is contagious.” Psyker shook his head, a small laugh leaving his lips, “He’s so earnest with his research, so ready to do whatever it takes to improve, to better himself – to be _Lunatic Psyker_. And well… who was I to hold him back?” Psyker gazed down at his hand, feeling the familiar crackle of electricity; they both watched it come to life in the palm of his hand, how the black markings turned purple with the surge of power coursing through him, “He made me realize I couldn’t stop either; I could grow, too, to become more then what I am – to become _Doom Bringer_.”

To become something more then what he was… Mastermind mused the notion, eyebrows knitted together as he thought.

Against all odds, Psyker breached that barrier that held him back, had indeed overcome it and any limitations his old body and armor had – he was stronger, wilder, more of a lunatic now than ever before, and yet, oddly enough, Psyker seemed so much more content and at ease now then back then.

That’s when Mastermind came to realize the why, was able to comprehend what it was Psyker had been trying to do – what he had been trying to prove, not only himself, but to the others as well. His eyebrows widened as he felt a cold sensation course through his vein, “You wanted to pass the torch along to the next generation…”

“In a sense,” Psyker laughed, his arm falling limply to his side. “It wasn’t easy, but nothing in life worth obtaining ever is.”

Because if Psyker could do it, so could they. He did it so Psychic Tracer could become, in a sense, the new Lunatic Psyker, while Psyker himself became Doom Bringer – to further develop both himself, and nudge Psyche along, to help him come to see his true potential.

“You’re a genius…” Mastermind was so incredulous by the thought, he had to wonder why he hadn’t realized it sooner, either.

“It sounds like an insult when you say it like that,” Psyker scoffed, shooting him a glare that would have been intimidating, if it weren’t for the scarlet dusting his cheeks. “I do have a brain, too, y’know.”

“You’re also the sappiest person I know. I can’t believe you said that.”

“Shut it.”

“To think, big, bad Lunatic Psyker, the boorish brute we all thought we knew so well, actually has such a heart of gold…”

“You can stop now.”

“I’m touched.”

“I’m going to punch you.”

“I’m so proud.”

“Right in the face. Say goodbye to it.”

“Please don’t.” Mastermind chuckled, holding a hand up as if it would fend off Psyker’s attack. The berserker found himself laughing as well, lightly tapping his fist against it.

How naturally the two fell into these easy banters was surreal; it helped reassure Mastermind that Psyker was still Psyker.

His reasoning, how he cared so deeply for Psyche, how easily he could smile, or laugh around them, how openly he could express himself… Mastermind smiled to himself, reaching out to take Psyker’s hand in his. The researcher couldn’t help but to laugh, his thumb brushing over the red blemishes covering Psyker’s knuckles – it was so nostalgic, to see them covered in scrapes and bruises…

“… You really haven’t changed, Psyk.” Mastermind brought Psyker’s hand closer to him, pressing his lips tenderly against his knuckles.

_You’re still the same; the Psyker I know and --_

Psyker’s fingers brushed against Mastermind’s cheek, pushing his hair back behind his ear, “I’m still me.” He leaned closer until their foreheads touched, eyes easily meeting Mastermind’s. His smile was genuine, a smile Mastermind had seen so often, and yet, one he never grew tired of.

Mastermind's lips twitched, his bottom one quivering as something bubbled in his chest. Psyker's eyes blinked once, twice, as he slowly pulled away slightly. Mastermind wasn't sure why, but for some reason, his vision was blurry --

"H-Hey, why are you crying --??"

Mastermind felt the tears cascading down his cheek before he even realized they were there. His hand reached to catch them, laughing to himself. Why was he crying? Psyker clicked his tongue, brushing his fingers against the tears. He leaned in once again, pressing a small kiss to his forehead. "What's with you, all of a sudden...? Crying out of nowhere like that. Did I upset you?"

How could that be the reason? Mastermind wasn't sad - he was consumed with relief. What Psyker had told him, everything the berserker had confided in him, somehow settled all the troubles Mastermind had felt. Why he left, how he could do this, what was going through his head; the resentment and hatred, the confusion and how worried he was, the self-loathing, wondering if he did something wrong to scare him off...

 _To think you've_ grown _this much..._

Mastermind smiled at the thought, a hand raised as if to try and hide it. Psyker set him with a passive look, the beginning of a pout forming, looking almost wary, as if he were expecting another insult. The pink that dusted his cheeks were proof of his embarrassment, of Mastermind teasing him enough to rattle him.  

Another thought, one that stirred somewhere from the farthest recess of his mind. A simple one, albeit something he hasn't said to Psyker that he's been meaning to. With another quiet laugh, Mastermind's hand brushed against Psyker's cheek, his fingers reaching to play with his long bangs. Instinctively, Psyker relaxed to his touch, a barely audible sigh escaping him as he leaned closer to Mastermind.

Mastermind's other hand found purchase along the base of Psyker's neck, fingers soothingly massaging the skin in a reassuring way, the touch feather light, as he pulled him closer to rest their foreheads together. Finally, he spoke the words he hadn't said that day, when his lover finally came back to him. "Welcome _home_ , Psyk."

> ~~Hey look, an extra :tm:~~

A look of shock briefly crossed Psyker's features. His eyes fell over Mastermind's, hesitant to meet his gaze - and wondering if he had heard him correct. Truthfully since his return, the two had been on odd terms - there was no denying the chemistry they had, but it was easily clouded over by the betrayal set so heavily in Mastermind.

To Mastermind, Psyker had left him behind, with no intentions of returning. To Psyker, he couldn't find it in himself to confide in Mastermind what it was he set out to do.

It was a routine the two easily fell back into, dancing around one another, not addressing the elephant in the room; Psyker never knowing when an appropriate time to approach Mastermind is, and Mastermind never finding it in himself to confront any such issues.

Psyker hadn't been looking for forgiveness -- yet it was as if he had received it.

He wasn't a fool, though. Psyker knew this was only the beginning, that Mastermind was slowly coming to terms with his decisions. He knew the researcher wasn't going to forgive him completely, wholeheartedly, just yet – that would take time, but so long as Mastermind was willing, Psyker was eager. He'll wait, as he always would with Mastermind.

For now though, Psyker could hardly contain his excitement. It was a start, and happy couldn't begin to describe what it is he was feeling.  

"… I'm home," Psyker breathed out, cradling Mastermind's face in his hands. The berserker couldn't help himself; he pressed his lips against Mastermind's, a soft, chaste kiss he hoped could convey how much he simply adored him.


End file.
